Nobody has said it better than Kelly Clarkson in her new song “Dark Side”.
“Everybody has a dark side. Can you love me? Can you love mine?”
Apparently nobody can.
HIV has been the hardest thing in my life. It makes you realize who your friends really are. And it also makes a world of difference in the seeing the true colors of the guys you date.
Lately, though, it seems that I’m not good enough a person for someone to be able to take the chance on me. Guys don’t even want to continue a conversation with me after I tell them.
And how is that supposed to make me feel? I don’t know about “supposed” to, but it takes away all motivation to even bother taking the medications which keep me alive. Essentially, a slow suicide. It would just be nice if guys didn’t completely recoil as if talking to me would infect them. I wish someone would get to know me for me and let that be it.
My life wouldn’t be that simple though…